as a Christian missionary

"For the first time in my life I know what I must do off in lonesome Lanao. I know why God left this aching void, for Himself to fill. Off on this mountain I must do three things:

1. I must pursue this voyage of discovery in quest of God's will. I must because the world needs me to do it.

2. I must plunge into mighty experiments in intercessory prayer, to test my hypothesis that God needs my help to do His will for others, and that my prayer releases His power. I must be His channel, for the world needs me.

3. I must confront these Moros with a divine love which will speak Christ to them though I never use His name. . . . Not to change the name of their religion, but to take their hand and say, 'Come, let us look for God.' . . .

What right have I or any other person to come here and change the name of these people from Muslim to Christian, unless I lead them to a life fuller of God than they have now? Clearly, clearly, my job here is not to go to the town plaza and make proselytes, it is to live wrapped in God, trembling to His thoughts, burning with His passion. And, my loved one, that is the best gift you can give to your own town."

:: Frank C. Laubach, Christian missionary, 09 Mar 1930,

in a letter written to his father.

Excerpted from Letters by a Modern Mystic.

If only

"If only"

is the hammer

I smash

my thumb

with.

the thing I might want least right now

tips.

that's what I don't want right now.

I think that if I took all the tips that are foisted on me, I could easily spend 26 hours of every day improving my life in small baby steps. And also driving myself insane. Seriously though: have you ever thought about it? One site tells you how to get whiter teeth with just 15 minutes a week. Another encourages you to increase your vocabulary in only 5 minutes a day! Then the magazine in the grocery store is promoting gratefulness: take just 20 minutes sometime this week to write a few thank you notes. That's all. Just 20 minutes. Oh, but did I mention that you should also be getting firmer abs in only 8 moves every morning? And that if you want to get your finances in order, just a one-time investment of a couple hours plus an hour a week is all you need? You could be squeezing in leg lifts during conference calls at work, too. And decluttering your closet in three simple sessions.

And all of these tips just made me more aware of how you simply cannot solve all of the world's problems in 5 easy steps or 20 minutes a week. Things are complex. And sometimes that means that you can't just boil it down and try a few "tips." Maybe they need to be completely re-examined and explored in long, ongoing dialogue. I subscribe to a newsletter on preaching and they love love love to bring up a different preaching problem every week and pretend to solve it in a single newsletter with a sidebar containing, well, more tips. I hate it.

Are we allergic to the idea of hard work?

And today at the gym was a magazine announcing in big blue letters: 1,432 tips Smart new health, fitness, nutrition, beauty & sex tips! Are you kidding me?!

except you ravish me

         "Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any one hear my voice, and open the door, I will come to her, and will dine with her, and she with me." Revelation 3:20.

Lord Jesus, I hear your knock but find that I cannot answer it. Is it for fear or for shame? Is it for pride or for weakness? I cannot tell. But I can hear, if even faintly, your knocking---your pierced hand rapping on the wood---and your voice coming through the door. Yet I am inside, unmoving, my legs as lead, my hands dead against my side. My heart itself seems to have grown cold and quiet, heavy and unbeating in my chest. I cannot answer you, I cannot rise, I cannot find the knob, I cannot open that door. I cannot let you in!

But Lord Jesus, how I want you to enter! I am voiceless and motionless, but how I long to dine with you, and you with me! So Jesus, behold me---dying if not dead. And Jesus, hear me---silent and pleading. And Jesus!---be polite no more, but batter my heart!

"Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you 

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,

Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me."

.: Holy Sonnet XIV, John Donne :.